Zombie Sleep Deprivation

I was basically a zombie by third period AP Chem. Like, actually undead. My hair was doing that thing where it defies gravity and common sense, and I'm pretty sure I had drool on my chin. Thanks, TikTok. Thanks, insomnia. Thanks, my brain for deciding 2 AM was the perfect time to replay every embarrassing moment from seventh grade.

"You look dead," Maya whispered, sliding into the seat next to me. "Like, actually deceased."

"Thanks, bestie," I managed, my voice cracking. "Really boosting the confidence right now."

She laughed, then got that look—the one that means she's about to say something that will change my life or ruin it. Probably both. "So... Jason's party Friday? You going?"

Jason. The Jason. The one I've been lowkey spying on via Instagram stories for three months. The one whose Spotify playlists I've memorized. The one who somehow doesn't know I exist despite us having been in school together since kindergarten.

"I wasn't invited," I said, which was true but also not the whole truth.

"So?" Maya raised an eyebrow. "Crash it. I'll be your wingwoman. We'll show up, look hot, pretend it was totally an accident that we ended up there. Classic move."

I stared at the goldfish sticker on my binder—reminder to feed Bubbles, my sister's fish that I'd somehow become responsible for. Bubbles had a three-second memory span, max. Sometimes I wished I could be like that. Just forget everything every three seconds. No overthinking. No replaying conversations at 2 AM. Just swimming in circles, being chill.

"I can't just crash a party," I said, even though part of me was already planning my outfit. "That's so... confident. I'm not confident. I'm a zombie, Maya. I have negative social battery."

"You're not a zombie," she said, softer now. "You're just overthinking it. Again. You always do this—you build it up in your head until it's this huge scary thing, and then you freeze. But Jason? He's just a guy. A guy who happens to have excellent taste in music and really nice hands, but still. Just a guy."

The bell rang, saving me from responding. But as I gathered my stuff, I caught Jason's eye across the room. He smiled. Actually smiled. At me.

Maybe I wasn't entirely dead. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to stop spying from the sidelines and actually—finally—show up.