Zombie Mode at Sunrise

The alarm blared at 5 AM and I felt like actual zombie material. My hair was basically a rat's nest, and don't even get me started on the bags under my eyes. But coach said swimming practice before school would "build character" — whatever that means when you're sixteen and your biggest problem is whether Tyler noticed your new highlight reel.

I dragged myself through the door, grabbing a papaya smoothie from the kitchen counter because priorities. Mom had left a sticky note: "Eat something healthy!" which was honestly rich considering she knows I survive on iced coffee and anxiety.

"You look dead," my best friend Jordan texted as I zombie-walked to first period. Which, rude.

But here's the thing about functioning on zero sleep and minimum nutrients: you start seeing life through this weird filter. Like in AP Bio, I caught myself staring at Tyler's back and thinking about how running away from your feelings is literally the worst cardio.

After school, Jordan somehow convinced me to try padel with them. "It's like tennis but cooler," they claimed. The courts were behind the community center, shaded by these massive trees. I had never played, and my coordination was already questionable from the sleep deprivation.

First swing? I hit myself in the ankle. Jordan lost it.

"You're not a zombie anymore," they teased. "You're a whole vampire now, with those reflexes."

I laughed so hard I forgot about everything else. The papaya smoothie, the swimming exhaustion, Tyler's back in Bio, the college apps my mom kept "casually" bringing up. For a second, it was just Jordan, this dumb racquet sport, and me missing every shot and not even caring.

Sometimes the best moments happen when you're running on empty. You stop trying to be perfect and just let yourself be a mess. A tired, uncoordinated mess who can't hit a padel ball to save her life but knows exactly who she is when she's not performing for anyone.

Later that night, Tyler actually replied to my Instagram story. Which was literally just Jordan and me looking ridiculous after padel, hair everywhere, grinning like we'd won the Olympics.

"You guys look intense," he commented.

I fell asleep with my phone in my hand. Maybe tomorrow I'd actually sleep. Maybe tomorrow I'd figure out this whole being a teenager thing. But tonight? I was just going to be proud I survived.