Zombie Goldfish Protocol

Maya stared at her reflection, practicing her 'cool girl' smile.Tonight was Jake's party—the social event of the freshman year—and she was NOT about to be the awkward wallflower again.Her phone buzzed with frantic texts from Chloe:'U CUMING????''Jake asked abt u''DONT LEAVE ME ALONE w the BEAR ppl ugh'

The Bear people—Connor's crew, who called themselves that because they acted like they owned the school woods behind the football field.Maya groaned.Her social anxiety was basically a zombie at this point—should've died ages ago but kept shambling back, hungry for her confidence.

Her little brother's goldfish, Bubbles, stared at her from its bowl.'Don't look at me like that,' she muttered.'At least you don't have to navigate high school social politics.'The goldfish swam to the front of the bowl, mouth opening and closing.'Wow, thanks for the pep talk,' Maya sighed, grabbing her hoodie.

Her mom's voice floated up from the living room:'Maya! Did you feed that goldfish? It's looking at me with those dead fish eyes again!''YES MOM,' Maya yelled back, smoothing her hair for the seventeenth time.

Outside, Chloe's rusty Honda Civic waited, bass thumping.Chloe leaned out the window, looking like a fox who'd just raided a chicken coop and was proud of it.'Get in, loser! We're gonna be fashionably late, which is the ONLY kind of late to be.'

The drive to Jake's house involved a terrifying moment where the AUX cord (a literal cable from 2009) kept disconnecting, leaving them in awkward silence until Chloe whipped it back in with unnecessary violence.'This cable is FIGHTING for its LIFE,' Chloe declared.

The party was already lit when they arrived—people everywhere, red solo cups, someone's terrible playlist blasting.Maya spotted Connor immediately, holding court in the kitchen like the bear he thought he was, talking way too loud about something that definitely wasn't that impressive.

Jake materialized next to her, looking unexpectedly good in a flannel that should've worked but somehow did.'Hey,' he said, and Maya's brain short-circuited.'Chloe said you're really into that vintage cable show? What's it called?'The zombie inside Maya's head shambled toward the exit.She was NOT into vintage cable shows—Chloe had told Jake that Maya was 'deeply passionate about historical documentaries about telecommunications infrastructure' as a joke.'That was a joke,' she said, but Jake was already nodding like this was the most interesting thing he'd heard all night.

'My goldfish knows more about telecom than I do,' she tried, but Jake just laughed.'You're so random,' he said, and Maya realized this was it—this was the moment her social awkwardness became a personality trait.

She spotted Connor, the bear, making his way toward them with that look boys get when they're about to say something they think is profound but definitely isn't.Maya made a split-second decision.

'Wanna see something actually cool?' she asked Jake, grabbing his hand before she could think about it too hard.She dragged him through the crowd, past Chloe who was now arguing with someone about whether zombies could technically swim, and out the back door.

'What are we—' Jake started, but Maya interrupted.'My little brother's goldfish has better social skills than everyone in there combined,' she said.'Also, I may have told Chloe I was into vintage cable documentaries and she told YOU and now we're here and I'm dying a little inside.'

Jake stared at her for a second, then started laughing—not mean laughter, but real laughter.'You thought I bought that?' he said.'I was trying to find a way to ask if you wanted to get out of here and go get food, but that cable thing was the only thing I could think of.'

The zombie in Maya's head finally died.The bear inside Connor could keep holding court.Chloe could keep fighting with that aux cable.

'I'm starving,' Jake said.'There's this diner—'

'The one with the good milkshakes?' Maya finished.

'Obviously.'He smiled, and Maya smiled back, not the practiced cool-girl smile from the mirror, but something real.

'Zombie goldfish protocol complete,' she whispered to herself as they walked toward his car.'What?' Jake asked.

'Long story,' Maya said.'I'll tell you over fries.'