What the Goldfish Remembers

The goldfish circles his bowl, endless laps in orange water, and I wonder if he's forgotten the pond he came from, or if he's just pretending. Memory is a coward like that—selective, convenient.

Marcus is on the couch again, cable draped across his chest like a dead snake, the television flickering blue light across his face. He's been there three days since the layoffs, since he came home with his sphinx-like smile and his box of belongings, saying nothing about the money we don't have, saying nothing at all.

'What are you thinking?' I ask, for the third time today.

He turns, slow as sediment. 'About riddles.'

'Riddles.'

'What walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon, three in the evening.' His eyes are flat, reflecting the screen. 'I'm thirty-eight, Elena. I should be at noon.'

The goldfish surfaces, mouth opening in silent protest. I feed him flakes I bought on credit, watch them spiral down.

'Marcus.' My voice cracks. 'We need to talk about the mortgage.'

The cable company disconnected our internet yesterday. Another line cut, another silence. He hasn't noticed.

'The sphinx ate herself,' he says suddenly. 'That's the part they leave out. She asked the right question, heard the answer, and couldn't live with it.'

I sit beside him, careful not to disturb his cable constellation. 'What answer?'

'That we're just bodies in motion, honey. Momentum pretending to be purpose.' He laughs, dry and rustling. 'I applied to seven jobs today. Seven rejections by noon.'

I take his hand. His palm is warm, his grip loose.

'The goldfish,' I say, 'has a seven-second memory. They say that's why he never gets bored of his castle.'

Marcus looks at the bowl, then at me, something like recognition flickering behind his eyes. 'Maybe he's the lucky one.'

'Or maybe,' I say, 'he just knows when to stop circling and start swimming.'

The cable lies between us, a question mark made of plastic and copper. He shifts, wraps his arm around my shoulders. The television casts long shadows across us both.