Underwater Everything

Marisa floated in the infinity pool, staring up at the palm fronds that cut jagged shadows across the sunset. Below the water's surface, her ex-husband's voice still echoed: *You're emotionally unavailable, Mimi. You move through life like a zombie.*

She'd come to Cabo alone, leaving behind the Denver apartment they'd shared for seven years, leaving behind the corporate strategy role that had drained her dry by thirty-three. Now she swam every morning until her muscles burned, trying to feel something besides this hollowed-out numbness.

Her phone buzzed on the lounge chair. The screen showed his name again—third time today. She let it ring. The resort's WiFi was terrible anyway, connections dropping like dead weight. She'd spent the first two days tethered to the cable they'd strung from the main office, answering emails about a merger she no longer gave a damn about, until she'd unplugged everything.

A woman in the neighboring chaise glanced over. "You okay, honey? You've been out there awhile."

Marisa treaded water, salt-stinging eyes meeting the stranger's concerned gaze. "Just swimming."

"The water's cold today."

"I know."

"Your phone's been ringing."

Marisa swam to the edge, pulled herself up. Water streamed off her like she was molting, shedding skin that no longer fit. "It's not a phone anymore. It's a tether. I'm cutting it."

The woman nodded slowly. "Good. Sometimes you have to drown the old life to find the new one."

Marisa looked back at the palm trees swaying in the evening breeze, their silhouette sharp against the darkening sky. She thought about all the years she'd moved through her marriage like a zombie, present but never quite there, always half-submerged in some underwater grief she couldn't name.

She climbed out of the pool, dripping and shivering, and walked past her phone without looking down. The screen went dark, and somewhere in the distance, a cable went slack, finally severed.

Tomorrow she would swim until her arms gave out, until salt water burned her eyes clean, until she remembered what it felt like to be alive again.