Three Seconds of Bravery

My mom calls from the kitchen, still convinced I'm ten. "Did you take your vitamin D? You're always inside."

"Yeah, Mom," I lie, staring at my phone where Mia's story plays — her seventh today at Lucas's house. The group chat's blowing up. Everyone's posting fire emojis and "best friend energy" like friendship is a commodity you can perform.

I should be there. I wasn't invited.

My room feels like a tomb. Even my goldfish, Neon, is giving me judgmental looks from his bowl on the dresser. He's three years old, which apparently makes him a geriatric miracle in fish years. His memory span's supposed to be three seconds, which sounds freeing. Imagine forgetting every social slight in the time it takes to blink.

Instead, I remember everything. Lucas's text Monday: "you'd like her." Mia's smug smile Tuesday. The way they both forgot my name Wednesday when introducing me to someone new.

The ancient Egyptians believed the sphinx guarded knowledge, testing seekers with riddles they couldn't solve. I feel like I'm facing a sphinx every day at school — what's the right thing to say? Who's worth trusting? Why do the people who claim to be your friends make you feel like you're constantly failing a test you didn't know you were taking?

I used to spy on their social media. Analyze every photo like I could find the answer to what I did wrong. But that's not it. Sometimes you just outgrow people, or they outgrow you, and nobody's really the bad guy.

My phone buzzes. A new group chat — without me.

I feed Neon a pinch of flakes. He forgets I exist in three seconds, then swims back to the glass like we're best friends. There's something kind of beautiful about that. Starting fresh. No grudges. No overthinking.

I delete Instagram. It's dramatic, I know. But for the first time in months, I can hear myself think.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"Can we go get tacos? Just us?"

Neon does a little flip. Or maybe he's just forgetting what he was doing a second ago.

Either way, I'm starting over too. And this time, I'm not performing friendship for anyone.