Three AM Realizations

The goldfish悬浮在 neon-lit tank, staring at me with those dead eyes that somehow saw everything. My room smelled like vanilla candles and the takeout pad thai I'd abandoned three hours ago.

"You gonna judge me, Bubble?" I whispered. Bubble didn't answer. Bubble never answered. But Bubble had witnessed my entire spiral.

Earlier that day, I'd almost texted him—the fox with the crooked smile who sat behind me in AP Bio. The one who'd caught me looking at his sneakers and winked like he knew something I didn't. My friends said he was bad news. They said he ghosted girls like it was his part-time job. But there was something about how he leaned back in his chair, all effortless confidence, that made my chest feel tight.

My sister had left her vitamin stash on my desk during her weekend visit. Glow Skin, Focus Mind, Sleep Deep. Little promises in pastel bottles. I'd swallowed three Sleep Deep at midnight hoping to shut down my brain, but here I was, 3 AM wide awake, overthinking a boy who'd barely said ten words to me.

Bubble swam to the top of the tank, mouth opening and closing like it was gasping for air.

"Same," I told it.

The fox texted me five minutes later. No hello, just: you left your hoodie in bio

My fingers hovered over the screen. This was it—the moment I'd been both dreading and secretly hoping for since August. I could play it cool. I could be casual. I could be the kind of girl who didn't overanalyze timestamps and word choices.

Instead I typed: thx and stared at the sent message like it might unsend itself.

Bubble did a lap around the plastic castle. The vitamin bottles caught light from my phone screen. I was sixteen years old and the most dramatic thing that had happened to me this semester was leaving a hoodie in the wrong classroom.

Somehow, that felt perfect.