The Vitamin Pyramid Scheme

Maya's palms were sweating so much she could practically water plants with them. Which would've been useful, considering she was currently standing in front of Jordan—the human equivalent of a palm tree: tall, lean, and somehow thriving in conditions that made everyone else wilt.

"So," Jordan said, leaning against the kitchen counter at Chloe's house party. "You gonna tell me what's in that smoothie?"

Maya froze. She'd spent the past three weeks following @GlowUpGuru's "Wellness Pyramid" program—a seven-tier system promising to transform you from "invisible" to "iconic." The pyramid's foundation layer? The Glow vitamin supplement: a suspiciously neon powder that tasted like artificial passion fruit and regret. Level two was the spinach cleanse. Level three was the affirmation work. Maya had stopped at level two because the affirmations felt cringe, even for her.

"Just... vitamins?" Maya managed. Her voice squeaked. Jordan's eyes widened, and she realized there was something green stuck in her braces. SPINACH. From the supposedly Instagram-worthy wellness bowl she'd forced herself to eat earlier. She wanted to die. She wanted to dissolve into the linoleum.

But Jordan laughed. Not mean laughter. Actual, genuine laughter.

"Dude," Jordan said, reaching out. "You've got—" and then Jordan's finger was gently brushing against her lip, dislodging the spinach, and Maya's heart was doing something genuinely concerning. "Is this from that GlowUpGuru stuff? My little sister's obsessed with that pyramid scheme too."

"Wait, it's a pyramid scheme?"

"Literally. My mom's a lawyer. They're being investigated."

They ended up sitting on the back porch, sharing Jordan's emergency stash of actual junk food and comparing notes about all the ridiculous wellness trends they'd fallen for. Jordan's palm rested on the porch railing beside Maya's hand. Not touching. Just... close.

Maybe the real glow-up wasn't a vitamin pyramid. Maybe it was finding someone who thought your weird attempts at fitting in were endearing instead of embarrassing.

"Hey," Jordan said, as the party wound down. "Next time, just skip the supplements. You're good without them."

Maya's palms stopped sweating. Finally.