The Truth in My Palm

My palms were sweating like crazy, which was basically a neon sign screaming I'm about to humiliate myself. Standing by the pool at Tyler's end-of-summer party, I watched Maya laugh at something Jake said—Jake with his perfect hair and varsity jacket and the fact that everyone actually liked him.

Hey, Marcus! Tyler called out. You up for some baseball later? We need a fourth.

My brain immediately went full bull. Yeah, totally! I shouted back. I'm amazing at baseball.

Lies. Complete and utter bull. I hadn't picked up a bat since sixth grade gym class, when I somehow managed to hit myself in the face with my own swing.

Maya turned toward me, her eyes bright. Oh, you play? That's cool.

I'm trapped now, I thought. So I nodded. Yeah. I'm pretty decent.

Cool, she said. We should all get in the water first, though. It's hot as—whoa.

She splashed me, and suddenly I was drenched, my soaking t-shirt plastered to my chest like evidence of my awkwardness. But then she jumped in too, and Tyler, and suddenly we were all in the pool, baseball temporarily forgotten.

We floated there, and the conversation shifted to how Tyler's mom was obsessed with wellness and made him take these massive vitamin supplements every morning.

They're literally horse pills, Tyler complained, and she swears they changed my life, but I think she just feels better about all the junk food I eat.

Maya laughed, and I found myself laughing too. The water felt like armor, like maybe being honest wasn't as scary as I'd built it up to be.

Hey, I said, suddenly emboldened. I actually lied about the baseball thing. I haven't played in years. I'd probably miss the ball, hit the ground, faceplant.

Maya studied me for a second. Yeah? That's actually kind of adorable.

Adorable? I raised my eyebrows.

Adorable that you thought you had to impress us with baseball skills, she said, splashing me again. We were already hanging out with you, Marcus.

My palms stopped sweating. The bull I'd been selling myself—that I needed to be different to fit in—suddenly felt ridiculous. I was already here.

So, Tyler said, still up for baseball? We can teach you.

I grinned. Yeah. I'm in.