The Things We Keep

The papaya sat rotting on the counter for three days before Elena finally threw it out. That was the first sign.

'You forgot you loved it,' she said, her voice flat. 'That's what happens when you stop paying attention.'

Marcus didn't argue. He'd been distracted lately, his mind always somewhere else—probably the same place his body went every morning at six, running along the waterfront while the city slept. He'd come back sweating, energized, while she lay in their bed watching the ceiling fan slice through the dark.

They'd met on a padel court three years ago. She'd been partnered with his friend, laughing as she missed every shot, her competitive streak warring with her complete lack of coordination. He'd offered to give her lessons. One thing led to another, and somehow the lessons never really ended.

Now their padel racquets gathered dust in the closet alongside his abandoned guitar and her half-finished painting projects. All the things they'd meant to keep doing.

'Your mother called,' Elena said one evening, gesturing to the blinking light on the answering machine. 'She wants to know if we're still coming for Christmas.'

'I'll call her back.'

'You said that last week.' She unplugged the cable from the wall, and the room went silent. 'I'm tired of waiting for things that never happen, Marcus.'

That night, he found himself standing in front of the pet store downtown, staring at a tank of goldfish in the window. Their mouths opened and closed in silent repetition, swimming in endless circles without ever getting anywhere. He thought about the ring burning a hole in his sock drawer, the one he'd bought six months ago and never found the right moment to give her. Some perfect moment that didn't exist.

He bought the fish. A single orange one that reminded him of her summer dress.

When he got home, the apartment was quiet. Her suitcase was gone from the closet. The papaya was finally in the trash.

The goldfish swam in its bowl on the kitchen counter, opening and closing its mouth, saying nothing at all. Some things, Marcus realized, you don't get to keep just because you finally remembered to want them.