The Supplement Aisle
Maya stood in the fluorescent glow of the pharmacy aisle at 11:47 PM, her cart containing only a bottle of vitamin D supplements and a sense of failure she couldn't quite shake. The label promised better moods, stronger bones — as if her skeletal structure were somehow to blame for the way David had looked at her over dinner that night.
"You seem tired," he'd said, not unkindly, which was worse. As if her exhaustion were a personal failing instead of the natural result of working sixty-hour weeks at a firm that measured human worth in billable hours.
Her phone buzzed. David again: "Are you coming home?"
She typed and deleted three responses before simply: "Soon."
The automatic doors slid open and a man walked in wearing a baseball cap pulled low, stained with what looked like motor oil or perhaps just the accumulated grime of a life very different from hers. He moved to the refrigerated section, returning with a gallon of water. Pure, elemental, uncomplicated. Maya watched him pay with crumpled bills, counted out carefully, and felt suddenly hollowed out by the ordinary grace of it.
She remembered her father teaching her to throw a baseball in their cramped backyard, the way he'd said, "Keep your eye on the ball, Maya," as if focus alone could guarantee anything. She'd been focused her entire life. She'd focused through school, through law school, through six years of building a career that now felt like a house she'd furnished but never quite lived in.
The vitamin bottle in her hand promised transformation in gelatin capsules. Healthcare as a retail experience. Wellbeing as something you could purchase between toothpaste and pregnancy tests.
She thought about David waiting at home, probably asleep by now, his breathing steady and unbothered in a way she couldn't remember being. He'd suggested therapy last month. She'd said she didn't have time, which was true but also not true.
Maya placed the vitamins on the conveyor belt. The cashier, a woman with tired eyes and name tag that read "CONNIE," scanned them with practiced disinterest. "Fifteen ninety-nine."
Outside, the air was thick with humidity, the kind that pressed against your skin like an unwanted embrace. Maya sat in her car, the vitamin bottle rolling across the passenger seat when she turned the ignition. She could go home. Could wake David with an apology she didn't fully understand. Could pretend that everything was fine, that marriage was like baseball — a game of skill, practice, strategy — instead of what it actually was: two people learning to be okay with not knowing.
Instead, she drove to the lake on the edge of town. The water stretched dark and endless before her, reflecting nothing, containing everything. She stepped out of her heels, walked to the edge, and sat in the damp sand. Somewhere behind her, a distant radio broadcast carried the crack of a bat against a ball, the collective roar of a crowd that still believed in winning.
Maya opened the vitamin bottle and swallowed one dry. Then she sat, and waited, and let herself feel exactly how tired she really was.