The Spy Who Catted Me

Maya had perfected the art of the cafeteria spy. You know the type — phone angled juuuust right, AirPods in but playing nothing, eyes scanning like she was conducting field research instead of choosing between pizza or the questionable salad bar. Her best friend Sam called it 'creepy.' Maya called it 'social intelligence gathering.'

The mission: track whether Lucas from AP Bio ever looked at her during lunch.

'Statistically, you're wasting your brainpower,' Sam said, stabbing at his tater tots. 'Bro's probably just thinking about League or something.'

'My hair looked good today, Sam. This isn't random.' She'd spent forty minutes on the beach waves — okay, twenty-seven minutes, but who's counting? The point was, effort had been made. Social currency had been invested.

Then there was the cat situation.

Her neighbor's cat, a judgmental orange tabby named Beef Wellington, had been showing up at her window every night for three weeks. At first Maya ignored it — she wasn't a cat person, whatever that meant. But Beef Wellington had persistence. He'd meow. He'd tap the glass with his paw like, 'I know you're in there, I saw you stalking Lucas on Instagram.'

'He's your emotional support animal now,' Sam decided when she told him. 'Accept it.'

The incident happened on a Tuesday. Maya was doing her usual surveillance — Lucas was sitting with Emma, because of course he was, and Emma was laughing and flicking her perfect hair like she was in a commercial — when Beef Wellington made his move.

The window was open.

Beef Wellington, master infiltrator, slipped into Maya's room, navigated around her pile of college applications, and somehow, SOMEHOW, knocked over her perfume bottle. The expensive one she'd saved up for. The one that smelled like 'confidence and poor choices.'

The crash shattered across the cafeteria — okay, across FaceTime with Sam, but she YELLED.

Her dad burst in. 'What happened? Are you okay?'

Maya, who had been mid-sip of water, sprayed it everywhere. Through her window.

Directly onto Lucas, who was walking by with Emma.

The universe had a sick sense of humor.

Later that night, Beef Wellington sat on her windowsill, grooming himself with unhurried elegance like nothing had happened. Maya glared at him. 'This is your fault.'

The cat blinked slowly.

Her phone buzzed. A DM from Lucas: 'uhhh did i just get attacked by a sprinkler system lol'

Maya stared at the message. Her hair was a disaster from the water spray incident. Her room smelled like a perfume factory explosion. She'd literally sprayed the guy she'd been spying on for months.

She typed: 'that was ME i am SO sorry'

'it's chill 😂 your hair looks cool though'

Maya froze. Her hair? Her SPRAYED, messy, definitely-not-beach-waves-anymore hair?

'uh thanks??'

'anyway emma says hi but she thinks you were trying to water me'

'NO it was an ACCIDENT'

'sure sure anyway wanna study for bio test tomorrow'

Beef Wellington let out a satisfied mrreow and jumped into her room, circling twice before settling on her pillow like he owned the place. Maya looked at the cat, then at her phone, then at the orange tabby who'd somehow orchestrated the most embarrassing and wonderful thing to happen to her freshman year.

'You know what?' Maya whispered. 'You're not the worst spy I've ever met.'

The cat purred. The mission, somehow, was accomplished.