The Spinach Incident

I never thought I'd be part of a pyramid scheme at fifteen, but here I was, sitting in Tyler's basement while he explained how we could all get rich selling 'premium energy drinks' to our classmates. The social pyramid at Lincoln High was already brutal enough without this nonsense.

'I'm just saying,' Tyler said, spinning a padel racquet he'd definitely never used, 'my cousin's friend made three grand last month.'

My phone buzzed. Mom reminding me about the pool party at the Reynolds' house. The one where Jessica would be. The one I'd been mentally preparing for all week.

'Count me out,' I said, standing up. 'I've got... running.'

'You don't run,' said Maya, who'd been quiet the whole time, staring at her phone like it contained the meaning of life. 'You literally got a D in gym last semester.'

'I'm starting. New me. All that.'

Fast forward to the pool party, and I'm hiding behind a potted plant, chips in hand, regretting everything. The social hierarchy was on full display: the popular kids by the actual pool, the rest of us scattered like debris. I spotted Jessica across the deck, laughing at something. I still had those weird nerves, the ones that make you say and do the exact wrong things.

Then it happened. Tyler appeared with two freshmen in tow, energy drink samples in hand. 'This is Jake,' he announced, 'our newest regional manager.'

Everyone stared. I wanted to die.

Jessica looked over. Made eye contact. Smiled.

Then she gestured to her teeth.

I excused myself to the bathroom, where I discovered: a massive, fluorescent piece of spinach wedged between my front teeth. From lunch. Four hours ago.

I'd been walking around with spinach in my teeth while being inducted into a pyramid scheme and getting publicly roasted by my sort-of-friend in front of my crush.

When I emerged, spinach-free but spiritually damaged, Maya was by the snacks.

'You good?' she asked.

'Never been better.'

'Wanna get out of here? My cousin has a padel court. We could play actual tennis.'

'It's padel, not tennis.'

'Whatever. You in?'

We left. We didn't play padel. We just sat on her porch and ate vending machine chips and complained about how being fifteen was the worst age in human history.

'So about the energy drink thing...' I started.

'Don't worry,' she said. 'I already blocked Tyler on everything.'

'Good.'

'Besides,' she grinned, 'you're not regional manager material. You have spinach in your teeth.'

I checked. I didn't. She laughed anyway.

Somehow, that made it better.