The Pyramid Scheme Survival Guide

The energy drink was my sixth vitamin supplement of the morning, and my hands still wouldn't stop shaking. Welcome to peak junior year productivity, I guess.

"Mayla, you're not BELIEVING hard enough!" Skylar's perfect acrylics clicked against her phone as she paced the Starbucks parking lot. "That's literally why your manifestation isn't landing. You gotta vibrate higher."

I vibrated. Caffeine overdose will do that to you.

"Skylar," I tried, "this whole thing feels kind of...

"Pyramid scheme-y?" She practically gasped. "No. It's a TIERED ENTREPRENEURIAL WELLNESS COLLECTIVE. There's a difference."

Right. A pyramid-shaped difference.

I'd been roped into selling these "miracle" vitamin packs through Skylar's new side hustle after she promised I'd make enough to replace my broken gaming monitor cable. Two weeks later, I'd sold exactly zero packs and accidentally recruited my grandma, who now texted me daily about "plant-based abundance energy."

My phone buzzed. Unknown number.

"Hey! This is Jordan from AP Chem? Saw your story about those supplements. I'm kinda interested but—"

"WAIT." I literally dropped my matcha latte. "Jordan as in plays varsity soccer Jordan?"

"Yeah?"

I'd been crushing on Jordan since freshman year, and now they were texting me because Skylar had posted my awkward selfie with a caption about "wellness journeys" like I was some Instagram influencer instead of a sleep-deprived teenager running on espresso and panic.

The bell rang. First period.

By lunch, I felt like a zombie. My brain was operating on those questionable vitamins, three hours of sleep, and pure social anxiety. Jordan sat at my table. ACTUALLY sat there.

"So," Jordan said, sliding a chocolate milk across. "Those supplements. Are they actually legit?"

Every pair of eyes at our table locked onto me. This was it. My moment. I could lie, make the sale, finally afford that stupid cable, maybe even become popular.

"Honestly?" I swallowed hard. "They're probably just overpriced pee in a capsule. My friend got sucked into this pyramid scheme and dragged me along."

Silence. Then Jordan burst out laughing. "Dude, thank you. I was hoping you'd say that. Tyler tried selling me the same stuff last week."

"Wait, Tyler?"

"Yeah, he's been DMing everyone. It's kinda embarrassing." Jordan shrugged. "Anyway, you seem cool. Want to study for the chem test together?"

I sat there, vibrating from too much caffeine and way too much unexpected joy, and realized something: sometimes the universe rewards you for not being terrible. And sometimes—rarely, magically—being authentic is worth more than any pyramid scheme commission.

Though I did still need that cable. Maybe Grandma would buy another pack.