The Pyramid of Empty Calories

The pyramid scheme masquerading as a corporate wellness initiative stood on Elena's desk, a display of colorful supplement bottles arranged in ascending tiers. 'Vitamin D for immunity, B-complex for stress, omega-3 for brain function,' chirped Bryce, the twenty-six-year-old VP of SomethingOrOther, whose hair had never known the indignity of thinning. 'HR's providing them free! It's about investing in our most valuable asset—you know, the people pyramid.'

Elena, forty-three and married to a man who'd stopped looking at her somewhere around the time she stopped caring whether he did, swallowed the urge to point out that actual pyramids were built on the backs of dead laborers. Instead she pocketed the vitamin bottles, because why not? She'd need something to wash down the tequila she'd drink later.

The apartment complex pool was empty at 2 AM, which was exactly why Elena chose it. The water was shockingly cold against her skin, shocking enough to make her feel something real. She swam laps, counting strokes like prayers, until her muscles burned with the exquisite pain of effort. Bullshit, she thought, surfacing for air. This whole life—this marriage, this job, this careful arrangement of gray hairs disguised as wisdom—was bullshit.

Her phone buzzed on the lounge chair. A text from Bryce: 'Quick sync tomorrow? Have some exciting ideas about restructuring the org pyramid!'

Elena stared at the message until the screen went dark. She could keep climbing this pyramid, swallowing vitamins and pretending that somewhere at the top there was something more than just more climbing. Or she could just keep swimming, stay underwater until her lungs gave out, until the bull that was her life—charging eternally at red capes of her own making—finally tired itself out.

Instead, she climbed out of the pool, dripping onto the concrete, and typed back: 'Sure. First thing.' Then she deleted the vitamin company's app from her phone, because some poisons didn't come in bottles, and the most toxic ones were the ones you swallowed without ever noticing the taste.