The Pool Party Fiasco

The chlorine stung my nose before I even saw the water. Jordan's pool party—the social event of the summer, according to Maya's three-story Instagram thread. I'd spent forty-five minutes on my hair, thirty picking an outfit that said 'effortlessly cool' instead of 'trying too hard.' My iphone buzzed in my pocket, a constant stream of party updates from the group chat.

The actual party was nothing like the posts. Kids clustered in awkward circles, music too loud, laughter too forced. I hovered near the snack table, nursing a lukewarm soda.

'Yo, Marcus!' Jordan yelled from the pool. 'Get in here!' I fake-smiled. 'Nah, I'm good.' Translation: I didn't want anyone seeing my pasty mid-June chest.

Then this orange cat—Jordan's family's apparently—sauntered onto the patio like it owned the place. Someone squealed. Someone else tried to pet it. The cat gave zero fucks, hopped onto a lounge chair, and started licking its paw with terminal judgment.

That's when it happened. Jayden, trying to impress Brianna, attempted this ridiculous cannonball off the diving board. Mid-air trajectory: all wrong. He crashed into the side, sending waves everywhere. Including toward me.

My reflexes? Trash. I scrambled back, but my iphone slipped from my grip and—splash—straight into the deep end.

The cat looked up, bored. 'Well, that's tragic,' it seemed to say.

I stared at the water, my stomach doing that awful drop thing. My phone. My parents would kill me. My life was over.

Then Brianna—actual Brianna, with the perfect hair and the three thousand followers—jumped in. Clothes and all. She dove down, surfaced with my dripping iphone. 'Rice,' she said. 'And never let Jayden near anything valuable again.'

The cat flicked its tail.

I looked at Brianna, then at my wet phone, then at everyone staring. And I started laughing. Like, actually laughing. Everyone joined in. Even the cat seemed amused.

Later, Brianna sat next to me while my phone sat in a bowl of rice. 'You're funny,' she said.

'I'm tragic,' I corrected.

'That too.' She bumped my shoulder. 'But in a good way.'