The Night I Finally Stayed

The solo cup in my hand was shockingly orange, like traffic-light orange, the kind that screams NOTICE ME. Which was exactly the problem, because I was trying so hard not to be noticed.

Maya's house party was everything my mom warned me about. Too many people, too much bass, some guy jumping into the pool with all his clothes on while someone else egged him on. I'd been holding this same cup of lukewarm punch for forty-five minutes, terrified to actually drink it but even more terrified to set it down and look like I had nothing to do with my hands.

My sneakers were already halfway to the door when I spotted them — goldfish, dozens of them, gliding through the murky water of Maya's backyard pond like they owned the place. Something about their effortless movement made me stop. They weren't trying to impress anyone. They were just... existing.

"Cool, right?"

I jumped. This guy Leo from my history class was suddenly beside me, leaning against the garden wall like he belonged there. He had this tiny sphinx tattooed behind his ear, barely visible under his messy hair.

"The fish?" I said, brilliant as ever.

"Yeah. Maya's mom's obsessed with them. Says they're good luck." He nudged my arm. "You've been running laps around this party all night. You good?"

I almost lied. Almost said "fine" and made my escape. But something about the sphinx — that ancient creature of riddles and secrets — made me want to be real for once.

"Honestly?" I let out a breath I'd been holding since I walked in. "I feel like everyone else got the manual for high school and I'm still reading the table of contents."

Leo laughed, but not mean. "Dude. Same. I spent twenty minutes earlier pretending to text someone so I wouldn't look lonely."

We stood there watching the goldfish for what felt like forever, talking about everything and nothing. He admitted he only came because his crush was supposed to be here (she wasn't). I confessed I'd spent three hours on my makeup and then considered not going at all.

The orange cup sat forgotten on the garden wall.

"You know," Leo said, "fish don't overthink it. They just swim."

"Yeah," I said, feeling something in my chest loosen. "Yeah."