The Goldfish Protocol

I'm basically a professional spy at this point. Not the cool kind with gadgets and martinis - more like the "hide in the bathroom at house parties" kind. Call it reconnaissance.

From my strategic position behind the towering stack of coats in Jordan's bedroom, I watched through a crack in the door. The party downstairs was basically a circus of awkward teenage encounters and bad decisions. My crush, Tyler, was currently talking to THE MOST POPULAR GIRL IN SCHOOL ( capitalization necessary for dramatic effect ). I needed intel. STAT.

"Whatever," I whispered to myself. "I have like, zero interest."

Lies.

My phone buzzed. MOM: "How's the party? Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Mom had the emotional range of a goldfish. Three seconds of memory, then she forgot she was literally the REASON I couldn't stay home and watch Netflix instead of socially assassinating myself.

Suddenly, the door flew open. Jake, my former best friend turned stranger, stumbled in. We locked eyes. The awkwardness was practically a physical force.

"Spying again?" he asked, and I swear I saw actual fondness in his expression.

"Reconnaissance," I corrected automatically. "There's a difference."

He laughed. "Still using your fancy words. Remember when we'd spy on Mrs. Henderson's gossip sessions from your treehouse?"

"I was eight," I said. "People change."

"Do they?" He stepped closer, and suddenly I couldn't remember why we'd stopped being friends in the first place. Some dumb fight about something that seemed HUGE then but probably wasn't.

"Tyler's looking for you," he said casually.

My heart did this actual gymnastics routine. "What? Why?"

Jake shrugged. "Apparently he thinks you're fox-y. His words, not mine."

I rolled my eyes. "That's literally the worst thing anyone has ever said to me."

"So I'll tell him you're busy?" Jake moved toward the door.

"Wait!" I grabbed his arm. "I can't just... TALK to him. I have ZERO game. I'll probably say something weird and then I'll have to move to another country. Change my name. Start over as a monk."

"You've got this," he said, and I realized I missed him. Like, A LOT. "Just bear with me here - what's the worst that could happen?"

"Public humiliation. Social suicide. Having to relive this moment for the REST. OF. MY. LIFE."

"Or," Jake said, "you could just talk to him like a normal person."

"But I'm NOT a normal person," I protested. "I'm literally HIDING IN A BEDROOM."

"Fair point." He checked his phone. "Okay, here's what we're gonna do. I'll go distract the others. You come out in five minutes. ACT NATURAL. And if you start panicking, just remember - goldfish have three-second memories. Whatever happens, you can always pretend it never happened."

"That's actually the worst advice I've ever received."

"You're welcome." He grinned, that old familiar grin that used to be my favorite thing in the world. "Oh, and Mars?"

"Yeah?"

"I missed you. Like, A LOT."

Then he was gone, and I was left alone in the bedroom with a bunch of coats and butterflies doing serious construction work in my stomach.

Five minutes later, I walked downstairs. My palms were sweating. My heart was doing jumping jacks. I felt like I might throw up.

Tyler spotted me immediately. "Hey!" he called, moving through the crowd. "I was looking for you."

I saw Jake across the room, giving me a thumbs-up.

"Hey," I managed, sounding ALMOST normal. "Jake said you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, and suddenly I noticed how his eyes crinkled when he smiled. "I was wondering if you wanted to maybe hang out sometime? Like, just the two of us?"

The party noise faded to background static. "Like... a date?"

"If you want it to be," he said, looking almost nervous. "I mean, only if you want. No pressure or anything."

"I want," I said, without even thinking. "Like, definitely want."

His smile got bigger. "Cool. Cool cool cool."

"Cool," I agreed.

Later, Jake found me by the snacks. "Well?"

"I have a date," I said, still hardly believing it.

"TOLD you," he said, bumping my shoulder. "Goldfish memory, remember? Whatever embarrassing stuff happened tonight, we're pretending it never happened. Starting now."

"Except we're NOT pretending we're not friends anymore," I said quietly.

"Deal," he said immediately. "Also, I may have told Tyler you like that obscure band he's obsessed with. You're welcome."

"You're the worst," I said, but I was smiling. "Like, actually the worst."

"Love you too, spy girl."