The Goldfish in the Deep End

Maya stood at the edge of the pool, clutching her towel like a lifeline. The water glittered with that fake-blue chemical shimmer, and somewhere inside, her stomach was doing full-on gymnastics.

"You coming in or what?" Jordan called from the shallow end, flashing that smile that made her forget how to speak human language.

"Yeah, just... gotta put my stuff down."

Lie. Complete, 100% certified lie. What she actually had to do was figure out how she'd let her best friend talk her into this——her first pool party since... well, since the Incident last summer. The one where she'd jumped into the water wearing a white two-piece and emerged looking like she'd entered a wet T-shirt contest she never signed up for. TheSnapchat screenshots had circulated for weeks.

Her phone buzzed. Mom again: "Did you feed the cat before you left?"

Maya typed back "yes" even though she'd forgotten. Barnaby would survive. He was basically a furry survivalist anyway.

"Maya!" Jordan was now joined by the others——the popular crowd, the ones who moved through life like they had a cheat code for social interactions. "We're doing chicken fights!"

She dropped her phone. It hit the concrete with a sound that made everyone turn.

Smooth. So smooth.

Grabbing it, she bolted toward the bathroom, because apparently that was her thing now——running away from her own life like it was chasing her with a machete.

The bathroom was empty, thank god. She leaned against the sink, staring at herself in the mirror. "You are such a bear," she whispered, using the nickname her brother had given her when she was little——grumpy, awkward, fundamentally incapable of being chill.

"Talking to yourself? Low."

Maya jumped. There was a girl her age sitting on the counter, legs crossed, holding a red plastic cup. She didn't go to their school——must be Jordan's cousin from out of town.

"I'm not... I'm just..."

"Overthinking? Yeah, same. That's why I'm in here. Jordan's friends are intense."

The girl's name was Riley. She had hair that looked like she'd cut it herself and eyes that missed nothing.

"They're not that bad," Maya lied again.

"Bro, they're terrifying. Did you see them doing chicken fights? I felt like I was watching a nature documentary about alpha wolves."

Maya laughed. A real one.

"You know what my therapist says?" Riley continued. "She says anxiety is like keeping a goldfish in a teacup. The fish thinks the whole world is this tiny, scary loop, and it has no idea there's an entire ocean out there."

"That's... actually really deep?"

"Right? But also, fish aren't known for their emotional intelligence, so maybe don't take life advice from them."

They sat there for twenty minutes, talking about everything and nothing. Riley told her about growing up in Oregon, about how she'd once dyed her hair purple and it turned out a horrifying shade of gray. Maya told her about the Incident, about Barnaby the cat, about how she felt like she was constantly watching life through a fogged-up window.

"You know what you need?" Riley said finally. "You need to bear up."

"Did you just..."

"I did. I made a bear pun. And I'm not even sorry."

Maya was still laughing when Jordan knocked on the door. "Yo, we're ordering pizza. You guys coming?"

Riley hopped off the counter. "What do you say, goldfish? You wanna come out of the teacup?"

Maya looked at her reflection one more time. The same girl, but something was different. Lighter, somehow.

"Yeah," she said. "Yeah, I think I do."