The Goldfish Fiasco

The carnival goldfish swam in circles in its plastic bag, mocking me with its very existence.

"You're actually gonna give it to her?" Tyler asked, spinning his baseball in one hand. "Bro, that's like, the definition of trying too hard."

I shoved the bag toward him. "Shut up. She said she wanted one. I'm being thoughtful."

"You're being corny as hell," he laughed. "But whatever. Good luck at the party tonight."

The party. The reason I had a goldfish in a bag and zero dignity.

When I got there, Maya was by the pool, water dripping from her hair, laughing at something Jake said. Jake, who actually started on varsity. Jake, who didn't look like a drowned rat when he swam.

I stood there clutching my plastic bag like a total loser.

Then it happened. My little sister's cat - she'd smuggled it in her purse, I swear to god - went FERAL. Something spooked it and it went tearing through the backyard, knocking over drinks, sending people screaming, and making a beeline straight for me.

I scrambled backward, tripped over a lawn chair, and went full-on airplane crash into the pool. Goldfish bag and all.

Underwater, time slowed. The plastic bag ripped. The goldfish swam free into the chlorine abyss. I emerged from the deep, spluttering, while everyone stared.

But then Maya started laughing. Not mean laughing - the real kind, where she was doubled over, clutching her stomach.

"Your face," she gasped. "Oh my god."

I treaded water, defeated. "That was supposed to be for you."

She dove in, smooth as anything, and swam over. Her eyes were bright. "You bought me a goldfish?"

"It was cool for exactly twelve seconds."

"You're ridiculous," she said, but she was smiling. And for some reason, my stomach did that thing where it forgot how to stomach.

Then a massive shadow moved behind me. "BEAR!" someone screamed.

I turned, ready to defend my honor against wild beasts.

It was a dog. A very confused golden retriever holding a stolen hot dog.

The laughter that erupted was different this time. I was part of it. And Maya was still right there, floating beside me in her pool, like maybe - just maybe - I didn't have to be smooth. Maybe I could just be the guy who gave her a goldfish that now lived free in the Hendersons' pool.

"Hey," she said, splashing water at me. "Wanna help me find him?"

"You named him already?"

"Goldie. Obviously."

"Obviously," I said, and swam off into the deep end, feeling stupidly, ridiculously okay with everything.