The Goldfish Bowl
The last time I saw Julie, she had spinach stuck between her front teeth. It was during the quarterly review, that brutal fluorescent-lit room where careers went to die or flourish, and there I was watching my best friend unknowingly wear a green flag of dental hygiene failure while presenting numbers that would get half our department laid off.
I didn't tell her. That was my sin. I watched her charm the room with that crooked smile, watched the executives nod, watched her secure her own promotion while signing off on termination letters for people we'd worked with for years. The spinach was my little secret, my silent judgment, my cowardice.
The cat arrived as a cosmic joke, a portly Persian named Mr. Whiskers that Julie couldn't take to her new corner office. She dropped him off with his carrier and his $200 automatic feeder, her manicured hands already erasing the evidence of her old life. "Just for a couple weeks," she said, already looking at her phone. "Until the new place closes."
Six months later, she's still in the same apartment. Mr. Whiskers has shredded my sofa, developed an expensive thyroid condition, and learned to scream at 3 AM when his bowl dips below half-full. But I can't bring myself to call her and ask for reimbursement for the vet bills. The spinach moment sits between us like a tumor, growing every time I see her LinkedIn updates—photos of team-building retreats, humble-brag posts about "scaling challenges" and "difficult decisions."
The goldfish lives in a bowl on my desk, a survivor of Julie's office purge. She was going to flush it—Hendrix, she called it—and I intervened, though I can't remember why. Maybe because something needed to survive from that time. Maybe because I needed a reminder.
Hendrix has developed a personality. He pushes his marbles. He flares when I walk by. Last week he jumped and landed on my keyboard, flailing while I drafted a resignation letter I never sent. We're both trapped in small containers, watching each other deteriorate.
I added fresh water this morning, dropped in the pellets. The cat watched from the floor, tail twitching with calculated interest. For a moment, three species held our breath.
Then Mr. Whiskers leaped.
Glass shattered. Water everywhere. The fish flopped on the carpet, gills heaving. I scrambled, scooped Hendrix into a mixing bowl filled with tap water. He's swimming in erratic circles now, confused, possibly concussed, but alive.
Tomorrow I'll text Julie. Ask her about the cat. Ask if she meant to leave him this long. Ask if she remembers Hendrix, or spinach, or why we stopped being friends.
But not today. Today, I'm just watching a goldfish recover from an assassination attempt, wondering which of us is really swimming in circles, and why I'm still cleaning up messes that aren't mine.