The Fox on My Screen

My phone pinged at 2 AM. Again.

VitaminDude99 is live.

I groaned, rubbing my eyes. My roommate Jake thinks I'm obsessed, but he doesn't get it. He's too busy chugging protein shakes and flexing in the mirror. Meanwhile, I'm watching some random gamer who goes by Fox online – clever username, I know, but there's something about the way she plays, the way she talks to chat like she's actually known us for years.

Tonight she was streaming from what looked like a basement, cables snaking across the floor like messy ideas. Her setup was janky as hell – a webcam held together with what looked like duct tape, a monitor that had definitely seen better days. But none of that mattered.

"So I started taking these vitamin D supplements," she was saying, character selection screen glowing on her monitor, "and honestly? My mood's been way better. Not medical advice, just saying."

Chat exploded with vitamin talk. Someone typed: "take vitamin gummies instead they taste like candy"

Fox laughed. Her laugh was weirdly comforting, like she got it.

My phone buzzed. Jake.

"bro u good?? u been watching that streamer for 3 hours"

I typed back: "yeah just chill why"

"just saying u could be studying for that chem test instead of being parasocial lol"

He wasn't wrong. But he also didn't understand what it was like to feel disconnected from everyone at school, to walk through hallways feeling like you're underwater, muffled and slow, while everyone else moves at normal speed.

On stream, Fox was getting destroyed in-game. Her character kept falling into water in some virtual jungle map, and she couldn't stop laughing about it.

"I swear to god, if I fall in that water one more time..."

She fell again. Chat spammed crying emojis.

And suddenly I was laughing too. Not like, heh funny, but actually laughing. For the first time all week.

My eyes were stinging. Maybe it was the late hour. Maybe it was the vitamin D deficiency Fox had mentioned. Or maybe it was just that feeling of finally, after days of moving through metaphorical water alone, finding someone else who was just trying to figure it out too.

I watched for another twenty minutes before finally setting my phone down.

Tomorrow I'd worry about chemistry class. Tomorrow I'd deal with Jake teasing me about my "parasocial relationship." Tomorrow I'd text my crush even though my hands would shake.

But tonight, I'd actually get some sleep.

And maybe tomorrow, I'd finally buy those vitamin supplements. Fox was right about the mood thing.