The Electric Taste of Regret

Maya stood at the edge of the rooftop pool at 2 AM, her wedding dress weighing her down like a second skin soaked in regret. The lightning storm that had been brewing all evening finally broke, fracturing the sky into brilliant white wounds that illuminated the city below.

She'd left the reception forty minutes ago—midway through the best man's speech about true love and forever. Her mother would be furious. Her friends would be confused. But as Maya stepped into the water, fully clothed, the diamond engagement ring weighing heavy on her finger, she felt something like peace.

The pool was cold, shocking her system awake. She'd stopped taking her vitamin D supplements three weeks ago when she stopped sleeping, when she started seeing James's face everywhere—on the subway, in coffee shops, in the crowd at her own bachelorette party. James, who'd died three years ago in a climbing accident. James, who she was supposed to have married instead.

She began swimming laps, her movements slow and deliberate, the water dragging against the silk of her dress. Each stroke pulled her away from the life she'd almost committed to—a life with Richard, who was kind and stable and everything her mother wanted for her. Richard, who made her feel safe but never alive.

A particularly close lightning strike shattered the night, the thunder following close behind like an afterthought. For a moment, everything was white—white dress, white lightning, white heat of possibility. Maybe this was her chance to finally choose herself.

She surfaced near the edge, gasping, her makeup running, her expensive hair ruined, the dress ruined beyond repair. Somewhere in the building, the reception was still ongoing. The cake was probably being cut. Richard was probably wondering where his bride had gone.

Maya hauled herself out of the water and sat on the concrete edge, her legs dangling in the pool, watching the storm rearrange the sky. She would have to go back inside eventually. She would have to explain. She would have to face everyone's disappointment and judgment.

But for now, she just sat there, shivering and electric with the weight of her own cowardice, and for the first time in years, she felt exactly like herself.