The Dirt Pyramid Scheme

Marcus stared at the pyramid chart Lily had drawn on her notebook, arrows pointing everywhere like some conspiracy theory board. "Dude, it's simple. You get three people to buy the dirt, they get three people, we're basically retired by junior year."

"Dirt, Lily? Really?" I zipped up my baseball bag, cleats clinking against the pavement. "And I literally have tryouts in twenty minutes."

"That's what I'm saying!" She grabbed my arm, her eyes wide with that terrifying focus she got when obsessed with a new thing. Last month it was crystals. This month it was literally selling bags of 'blessed backyard soil' online. "With your baseball team connections, you could move so much product. Think about it—sports moms love homeopathic stuff."

I pulled away. "I'm not selling dirt to my teammates, Lil. I need them to actually pass me the ball, not think I'm scamming them."

Her face fell. That specific look—like I'd just betrayed our entire friendship since first grade. "You're always too busy for my ideas. Ever since baseball season started—"

"Ever since baseball season started?" I laughed, incredulous. "Lily, you literally asked me to join an essential oils pyramid scheme last week. Before that it was those 'psychic readings' where you just Googled people's horoscopes."

"Those were REAL though!" She crossed her arms. "This is different. This could actually work. My cousin's friend's brother made three thousand dollars selling blessed crystals."

"That's not even the same product!" I checked my phone—seventeen minutes to get to the field. "Look, are you coming to watch or not? Coach said if I'm late again—"

"I have a customer meeting," she said, already turning toward the parking lot. "Some guy wants bulk blessed dirt for his meditation garden. I'm meeting him at Starbucks."

"Lily, that sounds like a murder setup. Please don't get murdered over dirt sales."

She flipped me off over her shoulder, but I caught her tiny smile.

"Text me when you're not dead!" I called after her.

She didn't make the sale. Apparently the guy was legit weirded out when she started explaining the blessings in detail. But she did show up to my game in the fifth inning, sitting behind home plate with a sign that said "#1 BASEBALL FRIEND (NOT SELLING DIRT TODAY)."

I struck out looking, but honestly? Worth it.