The Day I Turned Orange

The bathroom mirror showed a stranger. My hair, normally a mousy brown I'd been hiding behind since sixth grade, was now screaming ORANGE. Like, traffic cone orange. Like 'I'm done being invisible' orange.

"You look like a zombie ate a highlighter," Maya said, leaning against my doorframe, but she was grinning. That's what I loved about her.

"Good zombie or bad zombie?" I asked, running my fingers through the stiff, dyed strands.

"The kind that's about to own sophomore year."

Truth was, I'd been a zombie all summer—staying up until 3am scrolling through everyone else's perfect lives, watching old episodes of that show where the main character actually has it together. Meanwhile, I was drowning in my own overthinking, invisible and exhausted.

Until I found that box of orange dye at the back of the drugstore shelf. Until I decided to stop watching and start doing.

The pool party at Jake's house was in two hours. Jake, who I'd been lowkey crushing on since that time we partnered for the science project and he didn't make fun of me for loving mitochondria. Jake, whose 'just friends' texts had been keeping me awake at night.

My cat, Beans, wove around my ankles, purring like a tiny motor. He was the only one who'd seen me at 2am, crying about nothing and everything. He didn't care if my hair was orange or brown or purple.

"You got this," Maya said.

The backyard was already full when we arrived. People I'd known since middle school, now suddenly taller, louder, scarier. Jake was by the pool, laughing at something, his wet hair dark against his forehead. Someone yelled "CANNONBALL" and water splashed everywhere.

Then Jake saw me.

The noise seemed to stop. His eyes widened, just for a second, before this huge grin spread across his face. He started walking toward me, dripping water, and I suddenly remembered I was terrible at swimming. The deep end had always terrified me.

"Your hair," he said. "It's... you look amazing."

"Thanks," I managed, my heart doing that stupid fluttery thing.

"Wanna get in? The shallow end's not too deep."

I looked at the blue water, at all the people watching, at Maya giving me two thumbs-ups from behind Jake's shoulder. I thought about the zombie I'd been all summer, and who I wanted to be now.

"Yeah," I said, kicking off my flip-flops. "Yeah, I do."