The Catfish Pyramid Scheme

Marcus's summer was turning out as mid as his failed attempts at becoming a TikTok famous rapper. So when Jenna—the Jenna who'd somehow made varsity cheer as a sophomore—slid into his DMs asking him to hang, he nearly dropped his phone into his bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

Fast forward to Friday, and Marcus was sweating through his favorite vintage baseball tee at the town pool. Jenna waved him over to where a bunch of the popular kids were sitting in what looked suspiciously like a human pyramid by the shallow end.

"Hey!" she said, all sunshine and perfect teeth. "So we're doing this thing—it's basically a friendship pyramid but, like, make it profitable. You just rope in three friends, they rope in three friends, everyone puts in twenty bucks, and boom—you're at the top collecting. It's totally legal."

Marcus's brain short-circuited. This sounded like a pyramid scheme, but also, Jenna was looking directly into his eyes and she smelled like coconut water and expensive shampoo.

"My cousin's cat got sick," she added quickly. "That's why I need the cash. You know how it is."

Marcus absolutely did not know how it was. His parents didn't even let him have a pet because his mom was still traumatized by a hamster escape incident from 2012.

"Sure," he heard himself say. "I mean, that sounds chill."

Something splashed behind them. A soaked orange cat paddled frantically toward the pool ladder.

"Holy crap," Marcus said. "Is that—"

"Mr. Whiskers from next door!" Jenna shrieked. "How did he even—"

Before she could finish, Marcus's cousin Leo (who worked as a lifeguard because his aunt made him) dove in with the grace of a baby giraffe, grabbed the sputtering cat by the scruff, and hauled it out like a wet, angry rope.

"Who brings a cat to a pool?" Leo demanded, dripping everywhere.

"My little sister must've left the gate open," someone's cousin said.

"Anyway," Jenna continued, completely ignoring the chaos, "so you'll bring the money tomorrow? My cable's out at home and my parents are literally fighting about it, so I need to fix it."

Marcus watched the cat shake water all over Jenna's expensive tote bag. Something clicked.

"Actually," Marcus said, pulling himself to his full height of 5'7", "I think I'm good. My mom says I'm not allowed to join business ventures without reading the terms and service first."

Jenna stared at him, then at the wet cat, then at her ruined tote bag.

"Whatever," she said, but she was already turning away. "Your loss."

Marcus walked home alone, but for the first time all summer, he didn't feel mid. He'd dodged a pyramid scheme, saved his twenty bucks, and most importantly—he'd figured out that Jenna was kinda terrible.

His phone buzzed. A new DM from a kid in his English class named Sam.

"Saw what happened. You handled that. Also, there's a pickup baseball game tomorrow if you want to play."

Marcus smiled. He might not have a legendary summer, but at least he wasn't about to lose money to a cheerleader with a sob story.

"I'm in," he typed back.

Some pyramids were meant to crumble.