The Bear in My Backpack

Jordan's hands wouldn't stop shaking. The livestream started in ten minutes and their hair was doing that thing again — that one piece that stuck up like a confused question mark no matter how much gel they used.

Jordan grabbed their old charging cable, the one with the exposed wires held together by three rounds of duct tape. Please hold. Just for one more stream.

Their backpack pocket felt suspiciously lumpy. The bear. Mr. Cuddlesworth, the stupid stuffed animal Jordan's mom had won them at a carnival in fourth grade. Jordan had packed it by accident after tearing their room apart for their lucky headset.

"You ready, bro?" Jordan's little brother appeared in the doorway, already holding up his phone to record.

"Dude, get out." Jordan shooed him away, heart pounding. Their hair still looked wrong. What if everyone realized Jordan wasn't as cool as their online persona? What if they figured out Jordan was actually kind of awkward IRL?

The cable sparked when they plugged it in. Great. Perfect timing to die.

Three minutes until showtime. Jordan's hair refused to cooperate. Their hands shook. This was it — they were going to humiliate themselves in front of two thousand people.

And then the bear fell out of their bag.

Jordan stared at Mr. Cuddlesworth, its one eye hanging by a thread, its fur matted from years of secret hugs. The bear had been there through the divorce. Through the bullying in middle school. Through all the nights Jordan had cried into its synthetic fur because they didn't know who they were yet or if anyone would ever understand.

Jordan picked it up and something shifted. Maybe it was the way the bear's crooked smile seemed to say, "I've seen you at your worst. You'll be fine."

Maybe it was just exhaustion.

Jordan turned on the camera.

"Yo chat," they said, Mr. Cuddlesworth perched on their shoulder like the world's weirdest parrot. "Today we're doing something different. This is Mr. Cuddlesworth. He's my emotional support animal. Don't judge."

The chat exploded.

Actual laughs. Not mean ones. Real ones.

For the first time, Jordan wasn't performing. Wasn't pretending. Their hair was still messed up. Their cable was barely holding on. They were sitting there with a beat-up stuffed animal like a total dork.

And somehow, that was exactly what made them real.

The bear stayed on Jordan's shoulder all stream. Their hair forgot to be a problem. And when the cable finally gave up halfway through, Jordan just laughed and kept going on backup battery.

Some nights you plan to be cool. Some nights you accidentally bring a bear to a livestream and accidentally become yourself instead.

Jordan's hair was still doing the thing. But for once, they didn't care.