Swimming Upstream

Maya stared at the **goldfish** bowl on her desk, its lone inhabitant swimming endless circles. Goldie—original, she knew—had more freedom than she felt some days. At least Goldie didn't have to navigate sophomore year without accidentally tripping over her own awkwardness.

Her **iPhone** buzzed with another notification from the group chat. *Party at Jake's tonight. Everyone's going.* Maya's thumb hovered over the screen. Everyone going. That meant Lucas would be there. Lucas with the stupid perfect smile and the way he actually listened when people spoke, unlike most guys at Northwood High who treated conversations like waiting rooms for their next turn to talk.

She'd been crushing on Lucas since September, when he'd helped her pick up her dropped books in the hallway and joked about gravity having a personal vendetta against her. Three months of stolen glances, subtle likes on Instagram stories, and one memorable P.E. period where they'd been partners for badminton and she'd swung so hard she'd nearly taken out a gym teacher.

Her little brother Theo burst into her room, waving the charging **cable** like a lasso. "Mom says you need to help with groceries. Also, stop hogging the charger."

"Get out, Theo!" Maya tossed a pillow at him. "And tell Mom I'm busy contemplating my entire existence and potential social suicide."

"Weirdo," he grinned, ducking out.

Maya's phone buzzed again. A text from Lucas: *Hey, are you going tonight?*

Her heart did that embarrassing flutter-thing it always did when he messaged her. But then the mental images flooded in: the last house party she'd attended freshman year, standing alone while everyone else seemed to know exactly how to be, how to dance, how to exist in their bodies like they'd been given an instruction manual she'd missed.

Her dad's voice echoed in her head: *Maya, sometimes you've got to grab life by the horns and ride that **bull**.* He said this regularly. He'd never actually ridden anything more dangerous than a lawnmower, but the philosophy stood.

She typed back: *I don't know. Parties aren't really my scene.*

*Fair. But I was hoping you'd be there. Makes it more tolerable.*

Maya stared at the message, reading it three times to make sure she hadn't hallucinated it. Jake's party with Lucas there. Lucas who wanted her to come.

The goldfish swam past its plastic castle, probably contemplating fish existential questions. Maya took a breath. Maybe tonight she'd stop swimming in endless circles and actually go somewhere.

*On my way,* she typed.

Some risks were worth taking. Even if they required wearing actual pants and making conversation with humans who weren't related to her. Even if she had to literally face her fears and metaphorically ride the bull.

At least she knew one thing: she wasn't going to spend another Friday night watching a fish live its best life while she sat on the sidelines.