Sweaty Palms & Fiber Optic Dreams

My palms were literally dripping onto my keyboard. Gross, I know, but that's what happens when your crush—okay, your entire friend group—is blowing up your group chat and you're spiraling because you haven't left your house in three weeks.

"dude are you coming to jess's party or what" read the latest message from Kai.

I stared at the coaxial **cable** snaking across my floor like a dead snake. My mom kept threatening to call someone to fix the internet setup, make it look less like I was running a hacker operation from my bedroom. But honestly, I hadn't touched it in days. I'd been mainlining Netflix and avoiding humanity since my friendship with Mara went sideways at spring formal.

**Vitamin** D deficiency was probably kicking my ass too. My mom had left those gummy multivitamins on my desk two weeks ago with a sticky note: "These won't fix your problems but they won't hurt either :)" Moms always know. It's annoying.

The truth was, I missed my **friend**s. I missed the way Kai would make up conspiracy theories about why the cafeteria pizza was orange. I missed how Maliyah would drag me to thrift stores and hold up terrible sweaters against my chest while I pretended to be horrified.

But I also couldn't stop thinking about Mara laughing at me when I tried to slow dance. That laugh was still echoing in my head every time I closed my eyes.

I sat up and wiped my palms on my jeans. Three weeks. That's how long I'd been letting one awkward moment ruin everything. My therapist said avoidance only feeds the monster. She was right, obviously, but knowing something and doing something are different galaxies.

Still.

I grabbed my phone, typed "I'm coming," and hit send before I could overthink it.

Then I ate three vitamin gummies. Why not.

The party was already popping when I showed up, my heart hammering against my ribs like it was trying to escape. Kai spotted me immediately and basically tackled me with a hug. "Finally! I was literally about to come over there and drag you out myself."

Maliyah appeared with sparkling cider. "You're here! You're actually here!" Then her face softened. "You okay?"

"Working on it," I said, and for the first time in weeks, it wasn't a lie.

I didn't talk to Mara—baby steps. But I danced with Maliyah and Kai until my feet hurt, and later that night, sitting on the front steps watching the sky turn that perfect gradient purple that only happens in summer, I realized something.

Healing isn't about fixing everything at once. It's about showing up. Even when your palms are sweating and your heart's pounding and you'd rather stay home watching Netflix through a weird cable setup.

Sometimes you just have to eat your vitamins and show up anyway.