Surface Tension
Elena had been taking the vitamin supplement for three years when she finally read the label. It was a Tuesday evening, her iPhone balanced on the edge of the bathtub as she soaked, the screen glowing with unanswered messages from work. She'd been running every morning for six months — a New Year's resolution that had become a ritual of self-punishment more than self-care. Her knees ached constantly now, a dull rhythm that matched the hollow thump of her heart against her ribs.
The bottle promised wellness. Energy. Clarity. What it delivered, mostly, was a faint metallic taste in her mouth and the comfort of routine.
She thought about Marcus, gone eleven months now. Their fights had always followed the same pattern: he'd retreat into video games with the sound turned low, she'd scroll through her phone until her eyes burned, neither one speaking. The cable bill had been the last thing they paid together, a month before he left. She still kept the service, even though she watched maybe three hours of television a week. It felt like proof she was still a functional adult, somehow.
Now she floated in her apartment complex pool at midnight, the only time she could guarantee solitude. The water felt like forgiveness — no resistance, no judgment. She'd discovered swimming by accident, chasing a neighbor's stray dog into the deep end last summer and realizing, for the first time in years, she wasn't thinking about spreadsheets or unanswered texts or the hollow space where a marriage used to be.
The water knew things. It held you without expectation. Tonight, suspended in the dark, Elena understood something about the vitamin pills and the morning runs and the cable TV she barely watched — they were all attempts to keep herself from dissolving completely. She was running toward nothing, swallowing substances that promised to fix something that wasn't broken so much as hollowed out.
Her iPhone lit up on the pool deck — a work notification, probably urgent. She didn't move toward it. Instead she let herself sink, weightless, watching the screen's light fracture and fade as the water closed over her head.
Down here, everything was quiet. Down here, she could almost believe she was whole.