Storm Brain at Sarah's

My hat kept sliding over my eyes. A nervous reflex, I kept pulling the brim down like I could disappear into shadow and avoid the fact that I was the only sophomore at Sarah Jensen's party. The bass thumped through the floorboards, vibrating in my chest as I leaned against the kitchen island watching juniors laugh like they'd known each other since birth.

Then Maya walked in.

Okay, pause. Maya Rivera, who I'd had a crush on since that time she defended me when I tripped in gym class freshman year. She was wearing this ridiculous zombie makeup — green skin, fake wounds, somehow still gorgeous. The party was horror-movie themed, but I'd just thrown on my dad's old fedora and called it a costume.

"Nice hat," someone said. I looked up to see Maya standing there, holding a knife. Wait, plastic knife. "You gonna say anything, or just go full zombie on me?"

My brain was lightning-struck silent. I stammered something that wasn't words.

"I'm messing with you," she laughed, and her actual laugh was this warm, real thing that made her zombie makeup crack around her eyes. "Wanna help me find something actually edible? Everything's either chips or mysteriously spiked punch."

We ended up raiding the fridge. Sarah's mom had apparently just gone to Whole Foods because there was papaya in the crisper drawer. Who even eats papaya at a house party? We sat on the back porch eating it with our hands while spring rain started coming down.

"This is weird, right?" Maya said, wiping papaya juice from her chin. "Like, why are we sitting here eating fruit while everyone's inside dancing to music that sounds like a phone vibrating?"

I shrugged. "Maybe we're just not those people."

Sarah's dog, this golden retriever that was definitely not allowed upstairs, came barreling out the dog door and straight into Maya's lap. She didn't even flinch. Just started petting him like this was exactly where she was supposed to be.

"You know what I realized?" she said, scratching behind the dog's ears. "I was so stressed about tonight. Thought I needed to be perfect and perform and whatever. But sitting here with you and papaya and this good boy?" She nodded at the dog. "This is actually fun."

Lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating her zombie face in this weird, beautiful moment.

"Yeah," I said. "Yeah, it actually is."

I adjusted my hat, but this time I tilted it back instead of hiding under it. For the first time all night, I didn't want to disappear.