Poolside Zombies

The August heat wrapped around me like a suffocating blanket. Sixteen and I still felt like I was floating through life like a **zombie** – no, worse. At least zombies had a purpose. Brains. I couldn't even figure out what I was hungry for.

"Yo, Marcus! You gonna float there all day or actually get in?" Jake called from the diving board, his *Champion* swim trunks blindingly bright against the blue water. Everyone was watching. Maya, with her perfect laugh and that effortless way she tilted her head when she talked to people. Even Lucas, who'd somehow gone from math tutor to TikTok famous in three months.

I paddled my massive **orange** inflatable slice of pizza toward the pool's edge, my face burning hotter than the asphalt. This was supposed to be my summer glow-up. The one where I finally stopped being the quiet kid who sat alone at lunch, the one who practiced conversations in front of his mirror and took a daily multivitamin because someone on Reddit said confidence starts from within. The **vitamin** gummies sat untouched on my bathroom counter – placebo or not, I couldn't stomach them today.

My phone buzzed. Mom again. *Have fun sweetie! Remember what we talked about.* She meant the confidence talk. The "just be yourself" speech that sounded great in theory but terrifying in practice, especially when yourself had spent the last three years watching from the sidelines.

Maya slipped into the water beside me, droplets sparkling like diamonds on her dark skin. She pushed off the pool wall, her movement smooth and natural, everything I wasn't.

"You okay?" she asked, treading water. "You look like you're overthinking whatever's happening inside your head."

I almost laughed. Almost. Instead, I stuck my hand in the water and watched the ripples distort my reflection. "Just thinking about how fake this all feels sometimes. Like everyone got a manual except me."

She considered this, studying the lines on her **palm** like they contained ancient wisdom instead of just chlorine and pool water. "You know what my abuela says? She says nobody knows what they're doing. We're all just pretending." She splashed water at me. "Also, that inflatable pizza is ridiculous and I love it."

For the first time all summer, something inside me loosened. Maybe the zombie feeling wasn't just me. Maybe we were all walking around half-asleep, waiting for someone to admit they were winging it too.

"Hey," I said, finally meeting her eyes. "Want to see if I can actually swim without drowning my dignity?"

She grinned. "Only if you promise not to tell anyone I still use floaties sometimes."

As I pushed away from my orange slice and into the cool water, I realized something: maybe growing up wasn't about transforming into someone else. Maybe it was about finding the courage to be yourself – even when yourself was awkward, confused, and trying to figure it out one pool party at a time.