Papaya Summer & Panic Attacks

Maya's iPhone buzzed for the third time in five minutes. Another Snapchat from the group chat she'd been ghosting since Jordan's party. Her thumb hovered over the screen, heart doing that weird fluttery thing it did whenever she thought about Saturday.

"You're literally spiraling," she muttered to herself, grabbing the papaya smoothie she'd Instagrammed but couldn't bring herself to finish. #WellnessJourney. #SelfCare. What a joke.

The smoothie sat on her desk like a pastel accusation, alongside the vitamin D supplements her mom swore would help with "mood." As if a pill could fix the fact that Maya had frozen up when Jordan tried to kiss her.

Her cat, Biscuit, jumped onto the bed and headbutted her arm. At least someone didn't think she was awkward.

"I'm fine," Maya told Biscuit, who clearly didn't buy it. "I'm just... processing."

Running. That's what she needed. Not the social kind, not the "everyone thinks I'm cool and chill" running she'd been doing all semester. Actual running.

She grabbed her phone—accidentally opening the group chat, seeing Katie's message: "Maya u okay??"

Maya typed and deleted three responses before throwing on her hoodie and slipping out the back door. The summer air hit her like an exhale. No smoothie. No vitamins. No performance.

Her sneakers hit the pavement, and Maya let her legs carry her past Mrs. Henderson's house, past the park where Jordan had tried to hold her hand, past the middle school where she'd spent three years trying to be someone she wasn't.

Her lungs burned. Good. Finally something real.

By the time she circled back to her street, the panic had settled into something manageable. Something honest.

Biscuit was waiting on the front porch. Maya sat beside her, finally texting back: "Can we talk? Not on the group chat."

Jordan's response came instantly: "I've been worried about u. Call whenever?"

Maya's shoulders dropped. She wasn't fixed. She wasn't suddenly confident. But she wasn't running anymore—not from the hard stuff, anyway.

The papaya smoothie was still gross, though. Some things don't change.