Operation Social Suicide

Maya felt like every person in the cafeteria was secretly a spy trained to document her most humiliating moments. Okay, maybe that was dramatic, but ever since The Great Spinach Incident of freshman year, she'd been hypervigilant. The flash of a phone camera felt like a weapon. Whispering friends felt like conspirators.

Today she'd deliberately chosen a spinach-free lunch. Salad. No, too risky. She'd gone with a simple turkey sandwich, which she now picked at while watching Jason across the room. He was laughing with his friends, water droplets from his bottle glistening on his dark skin like he was in a commercial. Everything about him was effortless.

"You're staring again," said Tessa, sliding into the seat opposite her. "Just be normal and talk to him."

"Normal? Tessa, last month I tripped over nothing and accidentally bowed at him. Like I was meeting the queen."

Tessa snorted, almost spewing her chocolate milk. "That was legendary, honestly. But seriously, the swim meet's Friday. He's been looking at you during practice."

Maya's stomach did that thing where it forgot how to organ function. "He has? Or are you just saying that to make me do something stupid?"

"Stupid like finally admitting you've had a crush on him since that time he fixed your goggles?"

That had been seventh grade. The memory made Maya want to evaporate. She'd been crying because her goggles leaked, and he'd just calmly adjusted them for her like it was nothing. Her hero moment involved snot and red eyes. Peak romance.

The swim meet Friday. She'd been debating this for weeks — would it be totally weird to cheer for him specifically? Would his friends notice? Would HE notice?

"I'm gonna do it," Maya said, surprising herself. "I'm going to the meet, and I'm going to actually talk to him afterward."

"What changed?" Tessa asked, genuinely curious.

Maya thought about it. About spending months watching Jason from a distance, cataloging every interaction like he was a case study instead of a person. About being her own spy, gathering intelligence but never taking action.

"I'm tired of being the spy in my own life."