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Moth at the Water's Edge

swimmingsphinxwaterdog

The pool was empty at 11 PM, exactly how Mara preferred it. She'd been swimming laps for forty minutes, her body cutting through the water with practiced efficiency, when she saw it — a sphinx moth clinging to the wet tile where the wall met the deck. Its brown wings were sleek, almost predatory in their stillness.

She pulled herself out of the water, dripping and breathless, and crouched beside it. "You're far from home," she murmured. The moth didn't move. Maybe it was dying. Maybe it was just resting.

Her phone buzzed on the bench — David, again. Three missed calls, two texts asking if she was coming back tonight. She'd told him she needed space. He'd told her she was being dramatic. That conversation had been seven hours ago, but he was still pushing, still testing boundaries like a child who'd learned that "no" sometimes meant "convince me."

The sphinx moth trembled. A single droplet of water rolled down its wing, catching the harsh fluorescent overhead light.

Mara stood, her joints aching pleasantly from the exercise. She needed to go home. Buster, her sister's dog, had been alone in her apartment for five hours. She'd promised to watch him while Lisa was at the hospital with their mother, whose condition had "downgraded" — that terrible, sterile word the doctors used instead of "worsening" or "failing" or the other words that carried too much weight.

She wrapped herself in her towel and watched the moth. It was beautiful, really. The kind of beauty you could miss if you weren't paying attention. Kind of like marriage, she thought darkly. Kind of like everything.

The moth fluttered its wings once, weakly, and then was still again.

Mara dressed slowly, pulling on her clothes over damp skin. Outside, the air was cool. She walked to her car, leaving the moth where it was — some things you didn't get to save, no matter how much you wanted to. Buster would be waiting. David would be waiting. Her mother would be waiting, somewhere between here and whatever came next.

She got in her car and sat for a long time before starting the engine.