Goldfish Days and Zombie Nights

The plastic bag sloshed against my wrist as we walked through the parking lot, the carnival lights flickering behind us like dying stars. Inside, my new goldfish—Goldie Hawn, because Maya said the name fit her vibe—swam in tiny, frantic circles.

"You know goldfish have a three-second memory span," Maya said, blowing a bubble with her gum. "Perfect for you. You'll forget Brian exists by tomorrow."

"Shut up," I muttered, but she wasn't wrong. Brian had DM'd me literally " wyd " at 11:47 PM. Then left me on read for three days when I responded "nothing much, u?" The audacity.

I'd been moving through school like a zombie anyway—seven periods of fake-smiling, hallway navigation, and existing in that weird gray area where nobody hates you but nobody really knows you either. Zombie mode activated: nod at teachers, laugh at jokes I don't find funny, scroll through TikTok until my eyes burn.

But tonight? Tonight was different. I'd spent fifty bucks on carnival games trying to win this fish. Something about it felt important. Like proving I could actually WIN something for once.

"You should just text him first," Maya said, like it was nothing. "Like, literally just send 'hey'. What's the worst that happens?"

"He doesn't reply and I look desperate?"

"Or he replies and you guys hang out and maybe fall in love and live happily ever after?" She kicked a pebble. "You're letting fear bull-rush you, chick. That's literally not the vibe."

Bull-rush. I snorted. "Did you just make that up?"

"Whatever. You know what I mean. You gotta take the bull by the horns or whatever."

The bag sloshed again. Goldie Hawn pressed her nose against the plastic, like she was trying to see out. Or escape. Something.

"Okay," I said, pulling my phone from my pocket. "Watch this."

My thumb hovered over Brian's contact. Then I swiped left, found a different name. Not Brian's. The other person. The one I'd been too scared to text all summer.

"WAIT," Maya practically screamed. "ALEX?"

"Taking the bull by the horns," I said, hitting send before I could overthink it: "hey saw u at the carnival, u looked really good tonight"

Maya grabbed my arm. "YOU LITERALLY JUST GREW A SPINE IN REAL TIME."

My phone buzzed. Once. Twice.

"omg hi!! i was hoping you'd talk to me"

Maya and I screamed in the middle of the parking lot, like, actually screamed. A security guard looked over at us, confused.

"Zombie mode deactivated," I said, watching Goldie Hawn swim calmly in her bag. "I think I'm finally waking up."