Goldfish and Summer Skins

The summer I turned fifteen, I spent three weeks at my uncle's lake house thinking I'd die of boredom. Instead, I almost died of embarrassment.

It started with the goldfish. I'd won it at the carnival back home — this pathetic little orange thing flopping around in a plastic bag. My mom said no pets in the house, so I brought it to the lake house in a jar, planning to set it free. But I kept procrastinating because somehow this fish became my only friend. Pathetic, right?

Then there was the swimming situation. My cousin Jenna knew everyone in town and had this whole social circle that seemed straight out of a teen drama. She invited me to this party at the lake, but when I showed up in my one-piece from like seventh grade, I realized everyone else was basically in lingerie. I've never been more grateful for murky water in my life.

"Just jump in," Jenna said. "The water's fine."

"I'm good," I said, clutching my towel like a lifeline. Then my goldfish jar literally slipped from my grip and shattered on the rocks. My fish flopped toward the water like, "Finally, freedom!" and I'm screaming, "NO, GOLDFISH, DON'T LEAVE ME," while everyone stared.

I was halfway to panic-running back to the house when I saw it: a bear. A real one, standing at the edge of the woods like it was judging my life choices.

Everyone froze. The bear took one look at a dozen screaming teenagers and bolted — apparently bears aren't into social scenes either. But in that moment, everything shifted. My embarrassment about the fish, the swimsuit, the awkwardness — suddenly seemed small compared to almost getting eaten.

That night, Jenna and I sat on the dock talking about everything and nothing. She told me she'd felt awkward her first year here too. We watched the goldfish (I'd managed to rescue him) swimming around his new home in the lake, finally free.

"You know," she said, "that was kind of legendary. You literally screamed at a fish while a bear watched. That's main character energy."

Maybe. Or maybe I'm just the girl who saved a goldfish and survived a bear encounter, all in one summer. Either way, I stopped running from the awkward moments and started leaning into them. Even the ones that feel like everyone's watching.

Somehow, that made all the difference.