Drowning in the Shallow End

The swimming pool at the Riverview Hotel was empty at 11 AM on a Tuesday, which was exactly why Maya had chosen it. She floated on her back, staring up at the skylight where rain streaked the glass like tears she couldn't cry anymore. The water cradled her, offering the kind of silence her apartment hadn't known since Mark moved out three weeks ago.

Her waterproof iPhone vibrated against the poolside chair where she'd left it wrapped in her towel. Maya didn't need to look to know who it was. David, her boss, probably asking if she'd reviewed the Q3 projections. Or maybe her mother, checking in for the fifth time that day, each call more suffocating than the last. She let it ring, watching the water's gentle currents ripple around her fingers.

She'd almost forgotten to pack her vitamins this morning — the expensive ones Mark had bought her, the ones that were supposed to help with 'stress and emotional balance.' The irony tasted bitter. She'd been taking them religiously for months, swallowing two orange capsules with her coffee every morning, believing they would somehow fix what was breaking inside her. Now she wondered if the placebo effect had ever really worked, or if she'd just wanted so badly to believe that something could.

Maya swam to the edge and pulled herself up, water cascading off her skin. She reached for her phone, its screen lighting up with a notification: 'Mark: Can we talk?' Her thumb hovered over the message, then she locked the screen again.

She grabbed her wide-brimmed hat from the chair — a ridiculous purchase, the kind of thing women wore on European vacations, not alone at hotel pools in mid-sized cities. But she liked how it cast a shadow over her face, how it made her feel like someone who had secrets worth keeping. Someone whose heart hadn't been shattered so thoroughly she wasn't sure she'd ever be whole again.

The vitamin bottle sat on the small table beside her half-empty latte. Maya opened it and shook two capsules into her palm. She studied them for a long moment, their smooth surfaces catching the fluorescent light, then tipped them into her mouth without water. They stuck in her throat like stones.

'Can we talk?' Mark had asked. And suddenly Maya knew the answer. She picked up her iPhone and typed: 'No. I'm done swimming in circles.' Then she blocked his number, put on her hat, and walked out of the pool area, leaving the vitamins behind.