Drowning in the Shallow End

The pool party raged around me, bass thumping from someone's Bluetooth speaker, while I sat wedged behind the fake **palm** tree in the corner of Chloe's patio. Again. Third weekend in a row that I'd been invited somewhere and immediately found a strategic hiding spot like some kind of loser **spy** gathering intel on a world I didn't belong to.

"Yo, Marcus!" Jake yelled, cannonballing into the **water** with enough force to send a mini-tsunami my way. I flinched as droplets sprayed my freshly pressed Graphic Tee™—the one I'd spent twenty minutes choosing because it said "I'm chill" but not "I'm trying too hard," which is obviously exactly what someone trying too hard would think.

"You coming in or what?" Chloe called from the pool's edge, her hair slicked back like some kind of water goddess who definitely didn't overthink her outfit choices.

"Yeah! Just, uh, hydrating!" I held up my empty Solo cup like it was evidence.

Truth was, I couldn't swim. Well, I could sort of swim, but not like *swim* swim. Not the casual effortless laps everyone else did while simultaneously having conversations and looking attractive. My version of swimming involved frantic splashing, weird breathing rhythms, and basically looking like I was fighting an invisible demon.

But then I caught Maya's eye across the pool. She smiled—actually smiled, not the polite ones she gave everyone—and something in my chest did this stupid little flip thing. She'd been in my biology lab group all semester and I'd barely said three words to her because my brain short-circuited every time she leaned over our shared microscope.

"Marcus!" Jake shouted again. "Maya was just asking about you! She wants to see if you can beat her race record!"

Maya laughed and nodded, and suddenly the **palm** tree wasn't cutting it as cover anymore. My brain supplied approximately forty-seven reasons why this was a terrible idea, but my legs were already moving.

"Bet," I said, because apparently that's what people say now. "Just don't cry when I leave you in my wake."

As I jumped in, swallowing half the pool on impact, I realized something: drowning a little bit wasn't the worst thing in the world. Not when Maya was laughing at my terrible form, not when Jake was already planning a rematch, not when the **water** that terrified me also held everything I wanted.

Sometimes you have to jump in the deep end. Even if you're not ready. Even if you look ridiculous doing it.