Chlorine Secrets

The community pool was where everything happened. Where Jordan perfected his cannonball. Where Mia finally got noticed by Tyler when her bikini strap "accidentally" came loose. Where I spent three months staring at Tyler's abs through foggy goggles while pretending to supervise children who definitely did not need supervision.

I was the world's worst lifeguard.

"Hey, watch this!" some kid screamed, jumping into the deep end.

I glanced up from my phone where I was deep in my daily reconnaissance mission. Tyler's Instagram story from two hours ago showed him at the smoothie place. Was that Chloe's hair in the corner of the frame? I zoomed in like the FBI, analyzing every pixel like I was some kind of spy instead of a seventeen-year-old wasting her summer.

"MARCO!"

"POLO!"

The pool chaos continued around me. Kids splashed, old ladies did their water aerobics, and I sat on my elevated throne feeling like a fraud. My mom had made me take this job because "it builds character" but mostly it built a weird chlorine smell into all my clothes and gave me way too much time to overthink everything.

The vitamin gummies in my bag were supposed to help. "For focus and energy," the bottle claimed. My therapist said they were probably placebo but I took them anyway because they were shaped like dinosaurs and sometimes you just need a tiny, grape-flavored illusion of control.

"Your sister's so cool," said little Emma, climbing up the ladder. "She can do a flip off the diving board."

My sister. The one who was currently hosting a pool party at our house because our parents were out of town. The one who had somehow convinced Tyler to come. The one who I was supposed to be spying on via text updates from my best friend who was "totally just there for the snacks."

I checked my phone again.

Chloe: u ok if i hang with tyler

Me: whatever

Chloe: k just checking bc u like stared at him for 20 min at ur shift yesterday

I threw my phone into my bag. Chloe knew. Everyone probably knew. I was about as subtle as a goldfish in a bathtub - constantly forgetting what I was supposed to be doing, swimming in circles, and definitely not fooling anyone.

"Lifeguard! Kid swallowed water!"

I snapped my whistle between my teeth and jumped down. CPR training flooded back - tilt the head, check breathing, don't panic. The kid coughed, sputtered, and then started laughing because he was fine, he'd just gone underwater too long.

My heart raced anyway.

That night, I sat on the roof watching my sister's party wind down below. Tyler was leaving, waving at everyone, looking perfect in that way that made my chest hurt.

My phone buzzed.

Tyler: hey saw ur name on the schedule next week

Tyler: u save any lives today lol

I stared at the message. My thumbs hovered over the keyboard. delete? no. respond? maybe.

Instead, I thought about my goldfish who had lived for seven years in a bowl on my dresser, swimming in the same tiny circles, content with his little world. Sometimes I felt like that was me. The pool, the job, the hopeless crush, the endless summer routine.

But then I remembered the time my cousin accidentally fed him too much and he swam upside down for three days but kept going anyway.

Tyler: ur shift over?

I typed back: yeah. u survive the party?

Tyler: barely emily's crazy

Tyler: we should hang tho maybe after ur shift tmrw

The vitamin gummies couldn't take credit for this. Neither could the spying or the overthinking or the countless hours on lifeguard duty.

I smiled at my phone.

Maybe it was time to swim in a different circle.