Cap Brim & Broken Cleats

The baseball cap sat three sizes too big on my head, Uncle Rico's old Dodgers hat he'd handed down like it was some sacred artifact. I tugged the brim down, hoping it would make me invisible instead of just looking like I was playing dress-up in my own life.

"You coming?" Marcus called from the field, his cleats digging into the dirt like he owned the place. He was the kind of guy who said things like "bet" unironically and actually got away with it.

I was running out of excuses. Literally and figuratively. My mom had signed me up for summer league without asking, because apparently what my social life needed was more public humiliation.

The water cooler sat in the dugout like a life raft. I'd already visited it four times in twenty minutes. Jenna was there again, leaning against the chain-link fence like she'd been manufactured in a lab specifically to make my brain stop working. Her hair was somehow still perfect in this humidity.

"You know," she said, not looking at me, "that hat looks better on you than it ever did on Rico."

My face went hot. "Yeah? I was just—"

"Trying to disappear?" She finally looked at me, and her eyes were the color of that one perfect sky right before sunset. "Been there. Freshman year, I wore this giant hoodie every day. Thought if I made myself small enough, nobody'd notice I had no idea who I was supposed to be."

The baseball coach blew his whistle somewhere in the distance, but neither of us moved.

"What happened?" I asked. "With the hoodie, I mean."

Jenna shrugged, like it was nothing, but I could tell it wasn't. "One day I was running late, forgot it. Nobody looked at me twice. Turns out, nobody was watching as close as I thought they were." She pushed off the fence. "Also, you're not invisible. You're the guy who's visited the water cooler seven times and hasn't actually taken a sip yet."

She walked away, and I realized two things: first, she'd been counting. Second, for the first time all summer, I didn't want to pull the hat down over my face.

Marcus jogged over, wiping sweat from his forehead. "Yo, you gonna stand there all day? Coach wants us for drills."

I adjusted the cap—tilted it back instead of down.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm coming."