Breathing Underwater

Maya's hat was basically part of her head at this point. A oversized black bucket hat that hid half her face and covered her curls like a protective shell. It was her armor against the world—against school hallways, against awkward encounters, against the terrifying possibility of being seen.

But here at Jordan's pool party, armor was the last thing she needed.

"You coming in or what?" Jordan yelled from the water, splashing water toward her chair. Jordan, who used to be her person until they drifted into different social orbits freshman year. Jordan, who was now improbably her friend again this summer, like nothing had changed.

"I don't have a suit," Maya muttered, adjusting her hat.

Jordan rolled their eyes dramatically. "Maya. You're wearing sports bra and bike shorts. That's literally a swim suit. Get in here before I die of boredom."

"I can't swim," she admitted quietly.

Jordan paused, treading water. "Wait, actually?"

"Yeah. My parents tried when I was little but I freaked out and... yeah."

Something softened in Jordan's expression. They swam to the pool's edge and rested their arms on the concrete. Their hand—dark skin, long fingers—lay palm-up on the hot cement, close enough that Maya could see the lines etched there. Life line, heart line, head line. Jordan's friends at school were into palm reading, always looking at each other's hands and predicting futures, but Jordan had never seemed into that stuff.

"I can teach you," Jordan said. "Unless you're scared."

"I'm not scared," Maya lied, heart pounding.

"Then come here."

And because sometimes the bravest thing you can do is admit you're afraid, Maya stood up. She pulled off her hat, letting her curly hair spring free, and stepped to the pool's edge.

"Your hair is huge," Jordan said, grinning.

"Shut up."

"I love it though. It's... a lot. Like you."

Maya didn't know what to say to that, so she just slid into the water. It was cool against her skin, terrifying and wonderful all at once. Jordan's hands steadied her waist, gentle but confident.

"Relax," Jordan said. "You're so tense. I can literally feel your stress."

"That's just my baseline."

Jordan laughed. "Okay, exhale everything. Let yourself trust the water. Trust me."

And for the first time in forever, Maya did—let go of holding herself together so carefully, let her body float, let her friend hold her up. She was still terrified, but she was also doing it. She was swimming.

"See?" Jordan said. "You've got this."

Maybe she did. Maybe she didn't need the armor anymore. Maybe the scariest moments were also the ones where you finally learned to breathe.