Bearing the Water

So I'm at Jordan's pool party, clutching this stupid vintage fedora I thrifted because I thought it would make me look mysterious and artsy, but really I just look like I'm trying way too hard to be someone I'm not. The hat's basically a security blanket — I keep pulling the brim down whenever someone makes eye contact, which is exactly never because I'm busy being a wallflower in the corner.

Maya's here, obviously. She's in the pool, laughing at something Tyler said, water dripping from her hair like she's in a music video. I've had a crush on her since seventh grade health class when we had to do that CPR dummy project together and she pretended the dummy was flirting with her.

I should get in the water. Everyone's in the water. Even nerdy Brian from calc is cannonballing like his life depends on it. But I can't stop thinking about how pale I am, how I haven't been swimming since freshman year when I got made fun of for wearing a rash guard, how the hat is basically glued to my head at this point.

"You gonna stand there all day or actually join us?"

It's Maya. She's climbed out of the pool and she's standing right there, and my brain short-circuits.

"I, uh, I didn't bring a suit," I lie, clutching the fedora brim so hard my knuckles turn white.

She raises an eyebrow. "You're wearing swim trunks, Alex."

"Right. Those. Yes."

She laughs, but it's not mean. "You know what Jordan says about people who don't get in the pool."

"What?"

"That they're secretly afraid they'll turn into a bear if they get wet."

I blink. "What?"

"Like that old myth. I don't know, she says weird stuff when she's high on life or sugar or whatever. But seriously, get in here."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

I gesture vaguely at myself, at the hat, at everything. "I just... can't."

Maya studies me for a second, and I'm sure she's about to make fun of me or walk away or both. Instead, she grabs my hand.

"Bear with me for a sec," she says, grinning at her own pun, and pulls me toward the pool.

"No, Maya, wait —"

But she doesn't wait. She jumps in, pulling me in after her, and for one terrifying moment I'm underwater, the hat floating away, everything cold and blurry and chaotic. Then I break the surface, sputtering, and Maya's laughing, and everyone's looking, and I'm waiting for the humiliation, but it doesn't come.

"Took you long enough!" Tyler yells.

Maya wipes water from her eyes. "See? You didn't turn into a bear."

I'm wet, I'm hatless, I'm exposed, and somehow I'm okay. Better than okay.

"Yeah," I say, treading water. "I guess I didn't."